Relocation? Or gafiation?

[kathleen_dailey]

I was idly looking up a fan writer whom I used to follow a number of years ago on LJ. I was happy when I found that they had a DW account, but when I clicked on the profile I saw that their last update was 350 weeks ago, which somehow sounds even longer than "almost seven years." The writer's DW and AO3 accounts haven't been deleted, so I have to hope and assume that they're still alive and thriving.

I don't know why, but I feel a real sense of loss when I find that someone I remember from years ago has disappeared from this corner of fandom. Maybe the person hasn't really gafiated--maybe they're active on other platforms, and maybe their personal website has just moved elsewhere, without a redirect. (Or, most likely, given the quality of their writing, they've gone pro under another name.) But when a Google search turns up nothing useful, they may as well be in another universe.

Comments

[senmut]

Oh I feel this. So much. When I prune the inactive accounts from my circle, I sometimes wince, seeing long-term fannish friends gone for years on end.

[kathleen_dailey]

And it's not knowing where they are or what's happened that's the worst.

If only the person was able or willing to post an entry or send a PM saying, "I'm exclusively on Bluesky now" or "I've got a big-time public-facing job, so I'm purging my fannish identity"--I mean, you would still be sad to see them leave the community, but at least you'd know that the friend was doing well, and you might have the option of keeping up with them on the other platform or IRL.

[senmut]

Yes! This, all of this!

I have tried to make certain people can link me as I am named now to the Merfilly account for that reason. Because Merfilly is who I was all the way back to 1996 when I found UseNet and mIRC and other such things.

I don't want people to wonder...

[kathleen_dailey]

I really, really wish others would follow your example.

Your mention of Usenet reminds me that over the years I've searched everywhere for a writer I knew on the newsgroups. We were on a mailing list together for years, and then one day she and her email address were just GONE. I never knew her real name, and no one on the list or anywhere else knew how to find her. I still think of her decades later and wonder how and what she's doing.

[sixbeforelunch]

Oof, yeah I know this feeling. I prune my circle usually about once a year and it always leaves me melancholy to see people I used to interact with regularly be gone and have no idea where they are or how they're doing.

[kathleen_dailey]

Yes, that feeling of loss is palpable, even though you may never have had RL contact with the people who've disappeared. "Melancholy" is exactly the right word.

[jenab]

I feel this so much, especially when I deleted my Livejournal account and was looking at the friends list. So many people and no idea what happened to them.

[kathleen_dailey]

Multiple name changes are also difficult to handle. I mentioned an author in a comment I left on AO3, and another commenter said, "Oh, her stories are here. Just look for [another name]." If not for that offhand info, I would never have known that the author was still around. Her new name wasn't even close to the one I knew her by, she's not on DW, and her LJ is long gone.

[bleodswean]

Right. I had so many other journals I wrote under...I wonder if anyone is looking for those old names. But yes, I've had this experience. Remember when we used to rejoice when one of us went pro?! Now, how would we ever know....

[kathleen_dailey]

I had so many other journals I wrote under...I wonder if anyone is looking for those old names.

If they are, the search might not take them very far, sadly, unless archive.org happens to have saved a particular page or site. It's sad to think of so much history and narrative being lost.

[labingi]

Thanks for sharing this. I feel that way a lot. I really miss the community of LJ.

[kathleen_dailey]

You are 100 percent not alone. I've read quite a few discussions along this line in DW journals over the last few weeks. So many of us are missing that sense of community--and especially the inspirational creative energy that it generated.